the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
