Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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