Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
