He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
