Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
