hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
