are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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