she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
