Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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