im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
