I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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