I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize