i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize