I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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