he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The best revenge is premature balding
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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