The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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