We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
