Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
