Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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