the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
