the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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