I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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