Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
