I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
