we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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