Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
