Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
