whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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