New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
