We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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