i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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