How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
