Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
