Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
