Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
