I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize