You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
