Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
