dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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