Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize