3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
