so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
