But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
