she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
