8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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