Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize