Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry shroud1597 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

Fav 8 4033 998
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

Fav 21 1561 3904
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

Fav 40 5081 2431
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

Fav 8 3361 1585
share tweet
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

Fav 5 954 2435
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers

Fav 9 3345 1016
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.

Fav 3 1047 713
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.

Fav 1 356 193
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.

Fav 0 94 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT