you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
