I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
