When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
