I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The power of my boobs compel you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
