omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
