if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
