just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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