Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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