No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Never joke about your clitoris.
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