Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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