Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
