Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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