first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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