party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
