I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
