yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Panties = found
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
