Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
