my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
