You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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