How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
