Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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